Posted on May 19, 2011 by Alan Senauke
In Case of Rapture, Can I Have Your Car?
I only write for the Clear View blog when something really gets my attention. The following news clearly qualifies. According to evangelist Harold Camping’s biblical computations Christ will return to earth and the Rapture will occur this Saturday, May 21. Roughly 2% of us will be beamed up to heaven. The rest of you are up shit creek, for great shall be the tumult thereof, I should think.
Camping says, “When the clock says about 6 p.m, there’s going to be this tremendous earthquake…And the whole world will be alerted that Judgment Day has begun. And then it will follow the sun for 24 hours. As each area of the world gets to that point of 6 p.m. on May 21, then it will happen there, and until it happens, the rest of the world will be standing far off and witnessing the horrible thing that is happening.”
His explanation is a relief, since I have been worry about just how this was all going to come down, and also how to figure in the international dateline. But this is really just stage one. God will finish the job five months later, completely destroying the universe in a fiery conflagration on October 21, 2011
Camping, an 89-year-old former civil engineer, is the crusty founder of Oakland’s own Family Radio, syndicated on sixty-six radio and television in the U.S. Family Radio has also purchased 2000 billboards around the country, advising us to: “Blow the trumpet, warn the people!” about end times on May 21. I often see one of these billboards as I drive around town.
Now Camping had made an earlier prediction of the Final Judgment, scheduled for Sunday. Seems like he made a computational error. Camping says, “At that time there was a lot of the Bible I had not really researched very carefully.”
You do the math. Camping explains that 21 May is exactly 722,500 days from 1 April AD33, which he proposes as the day of the Crucifixion. You get this number, 722,500, by multiplying three holy numbers — 5, 10, and 17 — twice. He says (and I quote), “When I found this out, I tell you, it blew my mind.”
Well, I could go on, but is this best use of my last day?
A couple of useful links. If you are concerned about pets and friends who are not among the elect, see: http://www.youvebeenleftbehind.com/
For an earlier take on Judgment Day <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSZ2by7M9NI>
Meanwhile, lets not forget the Antichrist? The smart money is on Schwarzenegger. Who is your candidate?
I gotta go.
— Alan Senauke
The Antichrist? What, are you looking for volunteers?
Um, what’s the opposite of loaves ‘n’ fishes?